Tantric sex is a way of searching and unlocking the higher potential that lies in all human beings. It’s not about a quick roll in the hay, but a serene quest for pleasure that cannot be hurried and cannot be found outside a deep immersion in one’s soul. The ancient focus on the swift release of orgasm is discarded in favor of a physical and emotional experience whose aim is to open the two partners to each other, to increase their awareness of their needs and pleasures and to bring intimacy to a level that many people never experience.

Relaxation is one of the keys to Tantric sex. The two partners must be fully relaxed and at ease with each other and with the situation. A good idea is to have the lovers take a long bath together during which they can focus on each other. The basic tenets of Tantra claim that the man and woman play the roles of the god Shiva and goddess Shakti in a reenactment of the creation of the Universe. Gods are beautiful and the two lovers should admire each other and see the beauty present in themselves. There’s no shame in this, just relaxation.

After bathing, the lovers can share food as a prelude to sex. The Tantra tradition recommends meat, fish and honey, because these foods are linked to sex and desire. They can help set the mood and enhance the desire that a man and a woman feel for each other. Wine is also highly recommended, both as a way of helping relaxation and as a sensual ritual. The wine should be shared by candle light and accompanied by soft music and the burning of incense. This will help further the intimacy and arouse the passion that leads to pleasure.

If the two lovers have reached the proper mood, they can start making love while becoming attuned to each other. Breathing should be deep, slow and rhythmic and the two lovers should try to synchronize their breaths as a way of breaking down the barriers between themselves. Fast breaths help bring the orgasm early on, which is not the purpose of Tantric sex.

The man and woman should also have excellent control over their pubococcygeus muscles. This muscle ties the base of the spine to the pubic bone and is very important for sex. It allows women to keep their vaginas in shape and it lets men control the ejaculation process. A properly trained pubococcygeus muscle combined with a slow and deep breath help the man postpone ejaculation as much as he wants.

These are the things you should know before going into details like the nine levels of the female orgasm and how the man should take her through all the levels in order to give her the most complete orgasm possible. The skilled and motivated lover will have no trouble learning these principles and applying them to enrich his relationship. What goes around, comes around in the world of Tantric pleasure and with the pleasure that you give comes pleasure you receive.